Where did you get the idea for this anthology?

In many ways, Because I Love Her seemed like a natural follow-up to my first anthology The May Queen. It’s a great evolution for this concept of women in their thirties searching for meaning in their lives. So I thought I could build on our audience fairly easily. When The May Queen was first published Charles McGrath wrote a review “I Confess: One Theme, 30 Writers, a Trend” in the Sunday Styles section of The New York Times. He wrote a great many things I took issue with such as “The difference between a bitch in the house and the May queens is age. The younger writers haven’t yet entered the anger years.” I beg to differ. However, he made one especially intriguing observation, “There is a ghost in many of these books—the mother of the essayist, who is variously memorialized or blamed for being too perfect, an impossible role model, or for not sufficiently preparing her daughter for the world of work.” I really felt this motherly presence while editing The May Queen. Mothers and daughters have this incredibly fascinating, intense and complicated relationship. Many of the contributors, some of whom also contributed to The May Queen like Julianna Baggott, Ayun Halliday, Ashley Warlick, and Sara Woster, had unresolved issues with their mothers they wanted to explore. Don’t we all? The mother-daughter bond is such a primal, elemental subject, a grand theme to tie together an anthology, and obviously the hope is that people will respond to the essays in a very visceral way.

How did you go about pitching the idea and placing the book with a publisher?

Anthologies are much harder to sell than they were in 2003 when I sold The May Queen. I had my work cut out for me, but I found an incredible agent in Emmanuelle Alspaugh. She believed in the project and felt that interesting writing will almost always find an audience. My talented editor Ann Leslie Tuttle was moved by our proposal and made a preemptive offer.

How did you choose the writers?

I was lucky to have a network of writers to draw from in The May Queen, and they have their own connections as well. I approached a number of writers I had wanted to include in TMQ like Anne Marie Feld (I devotedly read her journal on Babycenter.com each week when I was pregnant with own my daughter), Tara Bray Smith (I adored her memoir West of Then), Katrina Onstad (I was a fan of her writing in the National Post), and Kaui Hart Hemmings (I gobbled up her short story collection and thought The Descendents was absolutely brilliant).

I was obviously limited by age with TMQ as it only featured writers in their thirties. So it was very freeing to not be hindered in this way and to offer new talents like Katherine Center and Lucia Orth another place to show off their work. I also enjoyed working with heavyweights like Jacquelyn Mitchard, Karen Joy Fowler, and Susan Wiggs. It was very humbling and inspiring to work with all of the writers.

What are the pitfalls to avoid while putting an anthology together?

I think it’s not always easy to trust your vision when you’re reading so many talented writers’ work. Many times I read essays however well-written that just didn’t fit the theme of the collection. I’ve been frustrated in the past by the amount of time it takes to promote a book, but it’s just part of the business of making books. I consider it a great privilege to see my anthologies in print, so I try not quibble about the small stuff.

What are the unexpected joys?

Reading an original essay written especially for the anthology has been a great joy. I’m editing a forthcoming father-daughter anthology and just received new essays from Chris Bohjalian, Robert Wilder, Steve Almond, David G.W. Scott, and Rob Spillman. Their essays brought tears to my eyes; they were so damn moving and insightful and sweet. I’m excited to finally have the opportunity to work with male writers on a topic that is often largely ignored by the media. The father-daughter connection is an important one- especially to young girls.

Any other tips for would-be anthology editors?

Find a great agent who believes in you. When you’re rejected by an agent or editor, as you inevitably will be from time to time, don’t neglect to ask how your proposal or concept could be improved upon. I have found most editors and agents very willing to help in this regard and of course, their support and advice is vital to one day seeing your book in print. What the industry “experts” think will sell is always debatable, but if you believe in your idea, you should never give up.